Girls, is wearing your heart on your sleeves a good thing? Is a girl confessing her feelings for another guy a good thing? We have so much heard that people don't really care who initiates. WHY girls cannot make the first move?! If guys could do it, why not girls?! The debate goes on..and on and on.

Some girls would cheer for you because you have the courage to do so, you have the guts to do it. Some guys are quite neutral about it (but they would still like girls who play hard to get though). Girls would admire you for doing it because they don't have the courage to do so. Berani-nya!!

Girls out there, if you are thinking about letting it out, let me tell you to STOP! and think twice..

As a matter of fact, you have been genuine towards yourself and others (the guy).. but you wouldn't have known how others would take it from you. Some may stay neutral as friends, some may distance away and keep a boundary, some may just avoid and ignoring. 2 posibilities - the friendship goes on neutrally, or it turns awkward and the worst both of you acted like strangers.

I compliment you for your braveness and courage, but the consequence may not be something you would like to bear. Facing rejection is something painful, it is even more tough if you have to see the person more than once a week. This goes the same for guys I guess. It takes a mature man to handle your confession and not all man take it the same way. It is emotionally draining for sure and cost you sleepless nights. Heart placed on sleeves are exposed and easy to be hurt, fragile, I guess I come to the logic of it, haha!

The plus point of it is this: you learn to deal with the bitterness and unforgiveness towards the person that rejects you. You knew that this is emotional dependency and you know it's not helping you in either way. How do you pick yourself up again?

When I see you on the cross, I knew it is me who nail you there. How you accepted me eventhough I'm poor, is also how I accept this person who rejects me. You have accepted him/her as well. Who am I to judge others, while I couldn't see the speckle of my eyes..It took me very long to understand this sacrificial love that you have for me. Thank the person who rejects you, for if not, you wouldn't have known how to love unconditionally. You wouldn't have known who Really loves you.

sense of insecurity was when: couldn't find my car in the car park of shopping malls at night. No one was at the car park area. Just me alone...the more i walked around, the more panicky i was.

when: once i went home from PJ to shah alam. Reach home about 10pm+ and when i was opening my iron-grilled door, the key suddenly broke(inside). Sister was in Bangi, parents in Penang. I did not have a spare key.

when: sister not at home, going home late. Park my car, holding the car key in my hand (in case when i'm ambushed i could poke the other person's eye with my car key). And, RUN up the stairs, open the door with a super fast speed.

when: something happen to my car e.g. couldn't start, tyre pancit, remote battery KO, at some place that i don't know and i'm alone.

when: after a happy dinner with colleagues, found that i lost my car key(which i thought i should have it). Went back to office with them, and found the key in office. *PHEW

when: it was in Form 2, saw my crush teaching another girl with gentleness, care and patience. adds a bit of jealousy. haha!

when: someone i liked, liked or shown interest for another person.

when: one by one my buddies getting married. Ish..peer pressure.

when: dad and mum travel far distance each and every month. Their journey worries me.

when: a person i looked up to, a mentor leaving.

A never ending list when it comes to insecurities...
At times, just wonder if I could just move away from Shah Alam, and go back to my parents in Penang (i'm not a Penang-Kia btw). Just a thought...no action coz there is no better purpose to do so. Running away from feeling all these insecurities is impossible.

I learn to put my trust in You again and again.

This was an article i wrote it down from elsewhere back in 2005.

1. I am successful when i have been faithful to the things that God has called me to do.

"His master replied, 'well done, good and faithful servant!" Matthew 25:23

2. I am successful when i have been a good steward of my life.

"Each of you should use whatever gifts you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in it's various forms." 1 Peter 4:10

I can be a good steward of my failures too. To be a good steward of my life includes actively seeking to realize my full potential so that i can honour God with my life and grow in my capacity to bless others. There is the constant awareness that life is a gift and i have to give an account one day.

4. I am successful when i used the 'twin loves' as the basic compass of my life.
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all you mind and with all your strength. Love your neighbour as yourself." Mark 12:30,31

It's about giving ourselves, to love God and to love others.

God has made us in such a way that we are successful, when we love God and our fellow men. But for now, we can say that God defines success in terms of faithfulness, stewardship and love.

I believe that the whole debate concerning the real nature of success is right there at the front line of the battle to not to be conformed to this world.

Chasing success as defined by the world means most of us are running on empty and that few of us will actually succeed.

Living our lives to "succeed" as God defines it means we can all be winners, and touch the world with God at the same time. -end-


I want to ask the Lord to renew my passion in counselling work. Moneraty returns i have long realised it will not be my direction in life. 7 yrs ago, i asked one question that determines my pathway today. "Is my life gonna be like this? I study form 6, then uni, then work, then married, hav kids, get old, and die? IS THAT ALL? Could there be something more than this? Could i do something greater than this? But WHAT and HOW? "

The questions are all answered today, by His grace i knew i'm not walking alone. The more i think of this 7 yrs ago, and in the process of these 7 yrs, the more i am fearful of Him who entrusted me with all the gifts i have, the people He entrusted to me. I just wana keep walking and running till i finish the race, and hear Him say:" Well done, good and faithful servant!"